Website owner: James Miller
I just received an email from a reader of my website. He had a disability that he told me about and he had several questions that he wanted me to respond to. He also had a blog he asked me to read. I read a bit from his blog. It was filled with great anger and hatred against society and "the establishment". From his email I took it that he viewed me as part of the establishment. One of the questions he wanted me to respond to was: Is there ever a legitimate reason for blaming a person, or society, or some segment of society, for things done to you? I think my answer to him could be of value to others. My answer to that question was: You are asking if there is ever a legitimate reason for blaming a person, or society, or some segment of society, for some wrong that you feel has been done to you. Of course there may be legitimate reasons for blaming people or society for something done to you. We all get wronged. We get wronged by other people. We get wronged by society and its institutions. People do other people bad. Social institutions like the school system by its factory assembly line method of treating people, by its inflexibility, do injustice to individuals who may be different from the norm. It is part of life. You have to learn how to deal with it. You might be interested in reading my article One of my pronounced personality traits I know where you are coming from. I can tell you that there is a lot more to this question than meets the eye. It is a lot more complicated than you think. You may have an excellent reason for blaming some individual or society for something. Logic may be all on your side. You may be totally justified in being angry. But things are trickier than you think. There is a trap here that a great many people fall into. It is a big black ugly pit, which once in, you may never get out of. You don't believe me? Just believe me. I know. Most people wouldn't touch a red hot stove. Why not? They wouldn't jump off a cliff. Why not? Don't touch anger. Stop it at the first angry thought. You can do it if you really want to. Don't touch hatred. Don't touch jealousy. You just don't know the threat they hide. Anger is a trap. Hatred is a trap. Don't get caught in them. They will take control of your mind and won't let go. They will destroy you. How do they destroy you? Through mental problems, emotional problems. They disrupt the normal functioning of the normal, well-balanced mind. They destroy judgment. And judgment in life is everything. It is interesting that Jesus told us how to handle wrongs done to us. "Love your enemy. Do good to those who wrong you." People would save themselves a lot of personal anguish if they would take his teachings seriously. Suppose society has done you some wrong. Let us say it hurt you greatly, did some terrible wrong to you. Suppose you allow that to pull you into anger and hatred for society. What will be the effect of that anger and hatred? Will it hurt society in any way? No. Society will just walk away and leave you soaking in anger. People will stay away from you, avoid you. No one likes to be around an angry person. So you become isolated and more and more angry. It is a win-lose case. Society wins. You lose. Suppose you take revenge and do something terrible against society. You will go to jail and come out the loser. Suppose some person did you a great wrong. Suppose you allow it to pull you into great anger and hatred for him. Will that anger and hatred hurt him in any way? He will just walk away from you and leave you to stew in your anger. It is a win-lose case. He is the winner and you are the loser. Suppose you take revenge. You do something back to him. You will be sorry in the end. There may be a temporary high and then a low. Nov 2009
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