Website owner: James Miller
There are many proverbs telling of the value of good example in influencing others. One can be influenced for good by the good example of others. Yet I think many people learn a lot more from the bad example of others. I think that in my case I have been more influenced for good by the bad example of others than from the good example. I remember when I was young I would see faults in the conduct or character of others and remind myself not to make that mistake, act that way, be guilty of that. I would note the bad behavior and it was a lesson for me. I would remember it and it would influence the way I behaved. Most of us have a lot more bad example around us than good example so it is the bad example from which we are more likely to learn. My wife, who works with a couple of badly overweight people, tells me they are a constant example for her, reminding her to watch her diet and keep her weight in check. At lunch time she watches them eat big high-fat meals that they have ordered from a local fast-food joint and she lunches on her fruit and non-fat yogurt that she brought in. As we notice different things in the character of others such as maliciousness, argumentativeness, dishonesty, laziness, etc. it can be a sort of object lesson for us on how not to behave. It is true too, of course, that bad example can influence people towards badness. One person sees badness and is repelled by it and it is an object lesson to him on how not to behave; another person sees the same badness and is attracted to it and copies it. The explanation for the difference? The spirit that reigns within us. Aug 2001
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