Website owner: James Miller
You may know a person who is confused, mixed up, miserable. And you can see a thousand things he is doing wrong. You feel sorry for him. You wish you could help him. He may be a loved one. Someone close to you. But you know you can't help him. You can only sadly watch him go all the wrong ways, do everything wrong, and slowly destroy himself. Why can't you help him? Because there is a mechanism that prevents you. It prevents you completely. You know you simply can't get past it. There is no point in even trying. What is it? It is related to his ego. The mechanism is that if you just hint to him of his problem he will take it as criticism and respond in anger. He may erupt like a volcano, shooting flames ten miles high, or at the very least, he will react with silent anger. It is an immutable law: you can't criticize people. You can't tell them about their faults and flaws; you can't tell them things they don't want to hear. You can't tell them the truth when the truth amounts to criticism. You know it is foolish to even try. And the more confused and mixed up they are the more violently they are likely to respond to criticism. Criticism only upsets and angers and never accomplishes anything positive. Criticism alienates. No one responds well to criticism. So if the truth sounds like criticism your hands are tied. There is nothing you can do. You can't help people. Only they can help themselves. They must discover their own errors. And it is only certain, special people who discover their own errors. Most never do. Jan 2000
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