Website owner: James Miller
What causes one person to abuse another? There can be many
causes of abuse --- jealousy, anger, dislike, etc. --- but one
very frequent cause is a person seeing what he regards as
faults in another and getting irritated and impatient with him.
It could be a boss who regards an employee as incompetent, or
stupid, or ignorant or "too slow" and becomes impatient. Or a
person who becomes impatient with a spouse or child whom he
regards as negligent, irresponsible or lazy. Then from the
irritation and impatience may come verbal abuse. Some people
are more prone towards towards irritation and impatience
towards faults in others than other people are. Perhaps it is
the high standards they set for themselves. They demand much
of themselves and of others. But also they lack a certain
understanding of others and a certain viewpoint toward life
that the patient, understanding person has. They don't
appreciate that there are many kinds of people in this world,
that everyone has his strengths and weaknesses, his good points
and bad points, his abilities and inabilities, and that, for
the most part, you just can't do much to change people and you
have to accept them as they are.
There is another related cause of abuse also. It happens when
a person looks down on another person with contempt because he
regards him as inferior. For example, having a disdain for
someone because you regard him as stupid or "too slow". Here
the person responsible for the abuse is setting himself up as a
judge. The person who you regard as "slow" may be superior to
you in many ways.
Jan 1985
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