An answer to an email

SolitaryRoad.com

Website owner:  James Miller

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Yesterday I received the following email:

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Greetings Mr. Miller,

I found your site today, doing research online. I have been researching Christian blogs all week and came across some consistencies in these sites, regarding the topics below. I honestly am shocked at what I've read and do not share these views and am shocked that these beliefs are the general consensus amongst Christians, according to the comments/replies on these blogs.

I've been grieved over the confusion this information has caused me and I would like your truthful opinion on them, if you wouldn't mind. Warning: These are not easy topics to address:

1. Does God condone/encourage polygamy? - https://biblicalgenderroles.com/category/polygamy/

2. Should [married] Christian couples engage in 'recreational acts' that are unfruitful/do not result in procreation? - https://biblicalsexology.com/biblical-sex-ed/ (Owner of biblicalgenderroles.com)

3. Should [married] Christian couples swear/use profanity during intimacy? - Sex Q&A: Swearing During Sex > https://marriedchristiansex.com/blog/mental-techniques/sex-qa-swearing-during-sex/ (The owners of this blog hide behind pen names)

4. Is it Biblical principal that the woman was created to sexually please men? - https://biblicalgenderroles.com/2019/10/29/a-politically-incorrect-yet-biblical-view-of-sex/

Kind Regards,

Matthew W.

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My reply was as follows:

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There are all kinds of people who regard themselves as Christians. Thinking you are a Christian doesn’t make you a Christian.

1. Does God condone/encourage polygamy?

Polygamy was practiced in the days of the Old Testament and the Bible doesn't condemn the practice. Abraham and David had multiple wives.

Three passages in the epistles (1 Timothy 3:2, 1 Timothy 3:12 and Titus 1:6) state that church leaders should be the "husband of one wife."

Also:

I Cor 7:1 Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. 3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

I would say that there is a tacit New Testament assumption that monogamy is the superior way but I wouldn’t say that the Bible teaches that polygamy is wrong. I think monogamy was the norm at the time of Christ.

2. Should [married] Christian couples engage in 'recreational acts' that are unfruitful/do not result in procreation? -

I am not sure what is meant by 'recreational acts' that are unfruitful/do not result in procreation however the New Testament does speak much about chastity, moral purity, and sexual perversion and I would probably view anything other than normal sex as perversion. I would not view birth control techniques as wrong.

3. Should [married] Christian couples swear/use profanity during intimacy?

I surely don’t think so.

Col 3:5 Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. 6 Because of these things the wrath of God is coming upon the sons of disobedience, 7 in which you yourselves once walked when you lived in them.8 But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth.

Eph. 5: 3 But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints; 4 neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. 5 For this you know, that no fornicator, unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.

Eph. 4: 29 Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, ...

4. Is it Biblical principal that the woman was created to sexually please men?

I don’t think so. No more than men were created to please women.

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On the last question I could have said more. The idea that woman was created to sexually please men sounds like a very selfish, self serving attitude to me.

I don’t think there is any more fundamental and important rule in life than the Golden Rule: Treat others as you would wish to be treated; do unto others as you would have them do to you. Matt 7:12 Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets. Preachers spend all kinds of time on abstruse doctrinal arguments that no one understands. Their sermons would serve people much better if they concentrated on the Golden Rule. The Golden Rule is universal and it is the teachings of Jesus in a nutshell. It is one of the great truths of life. Wise men understand its importance.

I don’t think there is any better recipe for ruining a marital relationship than treating your spouse in some overbearing, autocratic, domineering way. And I don’t believe there is anything more important in life than a healthy relationship with your spouse. So what does this mean? There is no more sure way to mess up your life than treating your spouse in a tyrannical way. You need a friend in your home, not an enemy. You need to treat your spouse as an equal. If you treat your spouse as you might some slave, you will have an enemy.

Treating your spouse in an overbearing way is a highly foolish thing to do. Honest affection and love in a marriage is vital. Don’t kill it. This is all just common sense.

The person who sent me the email has just sent me another email clarifying what he meant by 'recreational acts' that are unfruitful/do not result in procreation. He said he meant anal sex, oral sex, and using sex toys. Well, I would certainly view these as depraved, perverted, and immoral.

11 Aug 2024