Christianity calls for kindness and flexibility in our treatment of other people

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Website owner:  James Miller

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Behavior types

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Willful. Bent on having one’s own way; headstrong. Having or showing a stubborn and determined intention to do as one wants, regardless of the consequences or effects.

"the pettish, willful side of him"

synonyms: headstrong, self-willed, strong-willed, with a will of one's own, determined to have one's own way; obstinate, stubborn, as stubborn as a mule, mulish, pigheaded, bull-headed, refractory, recalcitrant, uncooperative, intractable, obstreperous, contrary, perverse, wayward, defiant, disobedient, ungovernable, unmanageable, rebellious, mutinous, insubordinate;

Self-willed. Obstinately doing what one wants in spite of the wishes or orders of others.

synonyms: willful, contrary, perverse, uncooperative, wayward, headstrong, stubborn, stubborn as a mule, obstinate, obdurate, pigheaded, mulish, intransigent, recalcitrant, refractory, stiff-necked, intractable, unpersuadable, ungovernable, difficult, disobedient, insubordinate, naughty;

Domineer. Assert one's will over another in an arrogant way.

synonyms: browbeat, bully, intimidate, pressurize, menace, hector, boss (about/around), push around/about, order about/around, give orders to, lord it over, tyrannize, terrorize, persecute, oppress, dictate to, be overbearing, ride roughshod over, trample on, have under one's thumb, rule with an iron hand, rule with a rod of iron, use strong-arm tactics on, impose one's will on, bend to one's will, subjugate; informal bulldoze, walk all over, railroad, lean on, put the screws on, strong-arm, squeeze

"all her life she was domineered by Granny"

Domineering. overbearing, authoritarian, imperious, high-handed, high and mighty, autocratic, autarchic; officious, peremptory, bossy, arrogant, haughty, masterful, forceful, coercive, bullish, dictatorial, tyrannical, draconian, despotic, controlling, oppressive, subjugating, iron-fisted, iron-handed, strict, harsh, severe;

informal throwing one's weight about;

Manipulate. To manage (persons, figures, stocks, etc.) shrewdly and deviously for one’s own profit. Control or influence (a person or situation) cleverly, unfairly, or unscrupulously.

"the masses were deceived and manipulated by a tiny group"

Ma·nip·u·la·tive. Characterized by unscrupulous control of a situation or person.

synonyms: scheming, calculating, cunning, crafty, wily, shrewd, devious, designing, conniving, Machiavellian, artful, guileful, slippery, slick, sly, unscrupulous, disingenuous, media-savvy; informal foxy

"a ruthlessly manipulative social climber"

Predatory. Seeking to exploit or oppress others.

"a life destroyed by predatory biographers and yellow journalists"

synonyms: exploitative, wolfish, rapacious, greedy, acquisitive, avaricious, vulturine

Selfish. (of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure.

"I joined them for selfish reasons"

synonyms: egotistical, self-centered, self-regarding, self-absorbed, self-obsessed, self-seeking, self-serving, wrapped up in oneself, self-loving; inconsiderate, thoughtless, unthinking, uncaring, heedless, unmindful, regardless, insensitive, tactless, uncharitable, unkind; mean, miserly, grasping, greedy, mercenary, money-grubbing, acquisitive, opportunistic, out for what one can get;

informal looking after number one, on the make

"he is just selfish by nature"

Rude. Offensively impolite or ill-mannered.

synonyms: ill-mannered, bad-mannered, impolite, discourteous, impertinent, insolent, impudent, cheeky, audacious, presumptuous, uncivil, disrespectful, unmannerly, ill-bred, churlish, crass, curt, brusque, blunt, ungracious, graceless, brash, unpleasant, disagreeable, offhand, short, sharp; offensive, insulting, derogatory, disparaging, abusive; tactless, undiplomatic, uncomplimentary, uncharitable, unchivalrous, ungallant, ungentlemanly, unladylike;

"a rude, arrogant young man"

Abusive. Extremely offensive and insulting.

synonyms: insulting, rude, vulgar, offensive, disparaging, belittling, derogatory, disrespectful, denigratory, uncomplimentary, pejorative, vituperative; disdainful, derisive, scornful, contemptuous; defamatory, slanderous, libelous, scurrilous, blasphemous; scolding, castigatory, reproving, reproachful;

● engaging in or characterized by habitual violence and cruelty.

"abusive parents"

synonyms: cruel, brutal, savage, inhuman, barbaric, barbarous, brutish, vicious, sadistic; ruthless, merciless, pitiless, remorseless, uncaring, heartless, cold-blooded, cold-hearted, unfeeling, unkind, inhumane

Argumentative. Given to argument : tending to argue : having or showing a tendency to disagree or argue with other people in an angry way : disputatious

synonyms: quarrelsome, belligerent, pugnacious,

Kind. Of a good or benevolent nature or disposition, as a person: a kind and loving person. having, showing, or proceeding from benevolence: kind words. indulgent, considerate, or helpful;

Benevolent. Well meaning and kindly. Possessing or manifesting love for mankind. Having a disposition to do good.

"a benevolent smile"

synonyms: kind, kindly, kindhearted, warmhearted, tenderhearted, big-hearted, good-natured, good, gracious, tolerant, benign, compassionate, caring, sympathetic, considerate, thoughtful, well meaning, obliging, accommodating, helpful, decent, neighborly

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Christianity teaches a way of kindness, benevolence, and patience toward our fellow man. It teaches peacefulness; the avoidance of conflict and strife, the avoidance of argument.

1 Tim 6:11 Thou, O man of God ... follow after righteousness, godliness, faith,

love, patience, meekness.

Gal 5:22-23 the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness,

goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.

Eph 4: 31-32 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be

put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted,

forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you.

Heb 12:14 Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall

see the Lord:

People who are willful, domineering, manipulative, predatory, selfish, rude, abusive, or argumentative are in violation of the Christian teaching of love of neighbor, of a benevolent attitude toward our neighbor. They are carrying the wrong kind of attitudes toward their fellow man. They are treating him wrong. Reason itself calls for an attitude of benevolence toward our fellow man. One needs to have the courage and strength to stand up for what is right. That calls for moral strength. However, we also need to be kind, flexible, fair, just, and understanding with regard to our fellow man.

I suggest this: Personality traits such as willfulness, pride, arrogance, selfishness, rudeness, argumentativeness, etc. are all habits. They are not innate or inherited. They can be changed. Our most basic tendencies and inclinations can be changed if we are really serious about changing them.

Christianity calls for kindness and flexibility in our treatment of other people. We are to treat others kindly and with patience. Avoidance of argument is one of the big secrets to a happy life. Learning to be flexible and kind in our dealings with others is a great lesson of life — a lesson of paramount importance.

I believe that the Way of Christianity is the secret to mental health. The Way of Christianity is not the way of most people in this bad, godless world. But it is the way of mental health.

Sept 2019